just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
