Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
bring money and cleavage
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
