At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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