i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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