Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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