i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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