And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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