I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
