Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
