Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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