escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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