After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
