he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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