i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
