SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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