I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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