We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
