so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
