How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
