I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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