She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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