I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
