Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
