I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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