Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
