I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
