bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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