Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
