My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
