I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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