I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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