how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
