I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
