She went from zero to smokin in five shots
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
