She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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