I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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