so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
