Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
