Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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