what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
