Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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