In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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