I just made out with a guy for $7.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
