She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
