the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
