talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My penis needs a shock collar
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We need to get me chipped asap
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
