My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
