so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
