Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
