Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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