Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
